"Is it possible to love something without letting it own you?" Man, that really is the question. That, and "But I’ve never figured out how to be good at something casually. I kinda have to be all in." I don't know how to say it any better than that.
Being newly into my 30s, I may not be encountering quite all of the physical limitations (yet) but the other hats of husband and dad are definitely "limiting" in the sense that they rightfully pull me away from my other loves and projects. I don't know if there's ever a one-size-fits-all answer to how we balance it. Maybe it's something like a tightrope; we lean one way, then the other, giving and taking where we see best, to do what we can. That said, there are so many times where I can get it so wrong, and my wife (lovingly) lets me know!
I travel a lot for work. It's been nice to have something consistent to settle down with. It's usually very interesting yet I rarely make it more than 20 minutes . I'll go back to ones I like hour by hour.
I quit fantasy football the year I became an actual head coach back in the day. I played a lot of roto baseball and stuff like that when I was a kid, but for whatever reason I have no interest in getting back into it.
I hope you can strike the right balance between being happy with your effort and not feeling like you're falling behind on everything else. The kids are lucky to have you, coach!
So many great lines in here, man. Really enjoyed this one. The one about loving something without it owning us is excellent too. How many times has that all-in / all or nothing approach meant, for some people, they don’t do it at all? As good as it was for you to step away from coaching, I have no doubt there were / are people who are better in life because you did. People doing things they love can have some strange knock-on effects.
Thanks Matt. So far, even though it may not sound totally like it in this piece, I’m doing a decent job not being all or nothing. Working on my book is actually helping I think, knowing that I need to keep that a priority.
And you also bring up something I’ve just started to think about in the last few days. When I stepped away from college, one of the thoughts I had was…I’m not hanging these kids out to dry. Like, whoever replaces me will do an excellent job as well…because there are so many qualified guys trying to get those jobs.
But now, at this hs program I realize I can have an effect on the kids in a way they otherwise might not get. Which is kinda cool.
When you know how to do a job well, you realize there is always something more you could be doing. Sometimes you just have to cut yourself off. PS I’m so glad I’m not coaching anymore.
"But I’ve never figured out how to be good at something casually. I kinda have to be all in. I think, maybe, a lot of people are built that way." Man do I resonate with this, including the dilemma that arises as age sets in and going all in requires more sleep, self-care, and hard decisions that it did when I was 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 . . . ee gads. I can see the trajectory here and it doesn't look promising.
I hope you can find some balance this football season, Henny! It's not easy. I can so relate to this. I'm teaching this semester, and honestly, I don't know if I can find a way to keep posting here on Substack. I definitely can't do four hours of sleep on a regular basis. How do you do that?? I was crashing at five, and that happened last fall when I was teaching and before Substack.
Cutting back might take more skill than coaching, but I think it's a skill worth developing. I'm telling myself the same thing! Wishing you good luck as you maneuver!
"Is it possible to love something without letting it own you?" Man, that really is the question. That, and "But I’ve never figured out how to be good at something casually. I kinda have to be all in." I don't know how to say it any better than that.
Being newly into my 30s, I may not be encountering quite all of the physical limitations (yet) but the other hats of husband and dad are definitely "limiting" in the sense that they rightfully pull me away from my other loves and projects. I don't know if there's ever a one-size-fits-all answer to how we balance it. Maybe it's something like a tightrope; we lean one way, then the other, giving and taking where we see best, to do what we can. That said, there are so many times where I can get it so wrong, and my wife (lovingly) lets me know!
The exact two quotes that strongly resonated with me! Great points, Justin.
Thanks guys! You’d think that the older you get the better you’d get at this, that just doesn’t seem to be the case with me 🤷🏼♂️
Maverick with the sleep of the innocent, Darla fanning herself. All is well.
All is well
You may do as them, minus the fanning.
I'm a fan
https://open.spotify.com/s/tCNPwWg
That looks pretty cool
It's really well done.
I travel a lot for work. It's been nice to have something consistent to settle down with. It's usually very interesting yet I rarely make it more than 20 minutes . I'll go back to ones I like hour by hour.
4 hours of sleep— a threat to the public. 🤣🤣 Now you know how a woman without estrogen feels. 😉
Great essay. Our response to our passions do change as we age. Especially when sleep is involved… and paying bills.
Do you play Fantasy Football? My kids have been playing since college. Another passion.
Thanks Carissa!!
I quit fantasy football the year I became an actual head coach back in the day. I played a lot of roto baseball and stuff like that when I was a kid, but for whatever reason I have no interest in getting back into it.
I used to load packages into UPS trucks too! It’s one way to pay for college
Bonded by Brown! I remember my union fees more than my salary 🤣
I hope you can strike the right balance between being happy with your effort and not feeling like you're falling behind on everything else. The kids are lucky to have you, coach!
Thanks Michelle, I hope so too!
So many great lines in here, man. Really enjoyed this one. The one about loving something without it owning us is excellent too. How many times has that all-in / all or nothing approach meant, for some people, they don’t do it at all? As good as it was for you to step away from coaching, I have no doubt there were / are people who are better in life because you did. People doing things they love can have some strange knock-on effects.
Thanks Matt. So far, even though it may not sound totally like it in this piece, I’m doing a decent job not being all or nothing. Working on my book is actually helping I think, knowing that I need to keep that a priority.
And you also bring up something I’ve just started to think about in the last few days. When I stepped away from college, one of the thoughts I had was…I’m not hanging these kids out to dry. Like, whoever replaces me will do an excellent job as well…because there are so many qualified guys trying to get those jobs.
But now, at this hs program I realize I can have an effect on the kids in a way they otherwise might not get. Which is kinda cool.
Four hours sleep? I would be writing from jail lol
Exactly
When you know how to do a job well, you realize there is always something more you could be doing. Sometimes you just have to cut yourself off. PS I’m so glad I’m not coaching anymore.
Part of me can’t believe the amount of time I used to spend doing it
"But I’ve never figured out how to be good at something casually. I kinda have to be all in. I think, maybe, a lot of people are built that way." Man do I resonate with this, including the dilemma that arises as age sets in and going all in requires more sleep, self-care, and hard decisions that it did when I was 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 . . . ee gads. I can see the trajectory here and it doesn't look promising.
ew gads I think you’re right Rick 😱 😬 🤣
Glad I’m not alone though
I hope you can find some balance this football season, Henny! It's not easy. I can so relate to this. I'm teaching this semester, and honestly, I don't know if I can find a way to keep posting here on Substack. I definitely can't do four hours of sleep on a regular basis. How do you do that?? I was crashing at five, and that happened last fall when I was teaching and before Substack.
Cutting back might take more skill than coaching, but I think it's a skill worth developing. I'm telling myself the same thing! Wishing you good luck as you maneuver!