I’m a hugger. Like handshakes you can tell someone’s personality by the way they hug. Is it firm? Do they linger? I wrote an essay about the time my kids taught me how to hug them— when they were teens.
I know Billy Baker! His wife, Lori, and I were in an improv group for a while a zillion hundred years ago. They are both fantastic people and his book is a delight! I am a hugger by nature, BUT I reserve the right to modify my hug as necessary for, as you said, creep/ick factor or you can tell the person is hugging out of social/some other obligation. When you do get a top notch A+ hugger---man that person is gold, Jerry. Gold.
Yeah…A+ huggers should be like plants at every gathering. They would really tie the room together, man. Billy is a great writer—I hope we get another book out of him yet!
Maverick's looking like a fine fellow. Haha. I don't hug many people. If they lean into hug, I always accept. I don't want to be rude. But I rarely initiate. I don't see anything wrong with hugging, but I save my hugs for the special ones. Like you say, some people get creeped out about it. I definitely won't initiate a hug with a teenage girl. Definitely not. It can be uncomfortable, and some old men are just creepy about it. I've watched them and winced at the girl's reaction. Haha. Overall, hugs are fine, but as a man, I use them sparingly. We're not the feminine humans. We're the brutes and the barbarians. Except warmth and kindness from our much more understanding female counterparts. They're way better at it, as a whole. Very interesting read, Henny.
I have two friends who hug for way longer and harder than most people would call appropriate, and it is seriously my favorite thing ever. They will go down in history for their hugs. But you must definitely build up to that. That's not a "first time we've ever met and now we're saying goodbye with a hug" kind of thing.
And the last teenager I hugged was a dead fish. So gross.
Totally understand your response to #1. When someone succeeds, it’s easy to sink into resentment and jealousy. Good that you checked yourself. I always try to do the same, with mixed results
Butts out hugs when you’ve committed to a hug are the worst. They feel like rejection but I’ve also realized that it’s more about the other person’s general discomfort than them thinking you stink, literally
Personally, I prefer hugs to hand shakes and kisses on the cheek, which is the norm in some cultures. I once initiated a hug with a male colleague who didn't want one. So awkward.
I also like hugs. And I’m all in when I hug…but if I sense the other person is a half-hugger or side hugger, i restrain myself and reflect their energy. It is a complicated thing, hugging. I don’t remember it being this way when I was younger. 🤷♀️
I’m a hugger. Like handshakes you can tell someone’s personality by the way they hug. Is it firm? Do they linger? I wrote an essay about the time my kids taught me how to hug them— when they were teens.
Oh I’d definitely read that! Have you put it on here? I’ll take any advice I can get 🤣
I’ll repost it for next week and credit you for the reminder. 🥰👏🙏
Oh my, this is so funny, and so true... halfway is never good... never :)
Never! 😄
Henny, I cannot unsee the Abe/George foreplay picture in my consciousness - thanks for ruining Presidents Day for me!
Ha! That’s what friends are for Bill!!
I know Billy Baker! His wife, Lori, and I were in an improv group for a while a zillion hundred years ago. They are both fantastic people and his book is a delight! I am a hugger by nature, BUT I reserve the right to modify my hug as necessary for, as you said, creep/ick factor or you can tell the person is hugging out of social/some other obligation. When you do get a top notch A+ hugger---man that person is gold, Jerry. Gold.
Absolutely on A+ huggers.
So cool you know them. Tell Billy we need another book!!
Yeah…A+ huggers should be like plants at every gathering. They would really tie the room together, man. Billy is a great writer—I hope we get another book out of him yet!
Maverick's looking like a fine fellow. Haha. I don't hug many people. If they lean into hug, I always accept. I don't want to be rude. But I rarely initiate. I don't see anything wrong with hugging, but I save my hugs for the special ones. Like you say, some people get creeped out about it. I definitely won't initiate a hug with a teenage girl. Definitely not. It can be uncomfortable, and some old men are just creepy about it. I've watched them and winced at the girl's reaction. Haha. Overall, hugs are fine, but as a man, I use them sparingly. We're not the feminine humans. We're the brutes and the barbarians. Except warmth and kindness from our much more understanding female counterparts. They're way better at it, as a whole. Very interesting read, Henny.
Thanks Parker!
I have two friends who hug for way longer and harder than most people would call appropriate, and it is seriously my favorite thing ever. They will go down in history for their hugs. But you must definitely build up to that. That's not a "first time we've ever met and now we're saying goodbye with a hug" kind of thing.
And the last teenager I hugged was a dead fish. So gross.
Limp fish handshakes and hugs are no good
Totally understand your response to #1. When someone succeeds, it’s easy to sink into resentment and jealousy. Good that you checked yourself. I always try to do the same, with mixed results
Easier said than done for sure
Butts out hugs when you’ve committed to a hug are the worst. They feel like rejection but I’ve also realized that it’s more about the other person’s general discomfort than them thinking you stink, literally
Totally. But l very much dislike making other people uncomfortable, particularly women.
Asking first is always a good call
I am so curious to know more about what hugs were weird and why???
A few butts out hugs, and quite a few half hearted hugs. Oddly enough, the few bro hugs were more genuine.
If you were here, I'd give you a big bro hug. Then ask if you'd clean my gutters.
That’s a tall ask Paul, I’ve seen your house! Me and heights don’t get along so well
Haha good point!
The book rec pics are infinitely better when there's a pup modeling with it.
Isn’t everything better with a puppy?
No lies detected.
"You must subscribe to be my friend." 😆
Personally, I prefer hugs to hand shakes and kisses on the cheek, which is the norm in some cultures. I once initiated a hug with a male colleague who didn't want one. So awkward.
Some people get so squirrelly when it comes to hugs for some reason
I also like hugs. And I’m all in when I hug…but if I sense the other person is a half-hugger or side hugger, i restrain myself and reflect their energy. It is a complicated thing, hugging. I don’t remember it being this way when I was younger. 🤷♀️
For sure. Although when I was much younger I’m pretty sure I was a terribly awkward hugger
We are huggers. Period. Hugging is good for the soul.
Amen to that, preach brother!
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