Empty Calories & Male Curiosity, #42 🥃

Fear Does Not Exist In This Dojo

QUICK HITTERS:

1. Lots of people think our country is messed up. Maybe it is. But it is nowhere near as f’d up as it was when this week’s book recommendation took place. The Taking of Jemina Boone, by Matthew Pearl, is the incredible story of the kidnapping of Daniel Boone’s daughter by Native Americans. This is legit one of my favorite books. It’s a fascinating story that offers a glimpse into the state of our country at the time of its founding.

   

   Sorry folks, this is the best Mavy could muster this week.

2. Recently, my wife and I were discussing a short trip with a group of new people. We know one couple, but none of their other friends. I was vacillating about going in case we didn’t like anyone else (#introvert), and she said something simple and extraordinary: “If they suck, at least we’ll have each other.”

   ❤️

   I wish for all of you to have someone like that to love you.

3. If you like humor and history, you need to check out my friend Sheila Moeschen and her Humor Saves newsletter. If you don’t like humor and history - what the heck are you doing here in the first place?

GOING DEEP:

Fear Does Not Exist In This Dojo

I feel fairly confident that everyone reading this is aware of the film The Karate Kid and the franchise it spawned. Maybe you were a kid in the ‘80s who begged your parents to get you karate lessons after watching the original. Or perhaps you’re just someone who, in the last twenty years or so, has seen or heard of one of the recent iterations.

Either way, I’m guessing you’ll remember the Cobra Kai. One of their sensei’s big mantras in the original movie was, “Fear does not exist in this dojo.”

Throughout my life I’ve thought of this mantra from time to time. I should probably be embarrassed about sharing that with you, because it’s incredibly lame for a grown ass man to still be thinking about a movie he saw when he was nine.

But I’m not. Because this time a year ago I was gripped with fear. Fear of sharing my thoughts, opinions, and vulnerabilities with others through writing.

Apparently diversity didn’t exist in his dojo either. Unless you count Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds. Can you find him?

Most Americans watch football in some way, shape, or form. Some are fanatics, some are casual fans. Most, however, don’t understand the physical pain and trauma associated with playing the sport. While the game today isn’t as violent as it was when I played thirty years ago, one could correctly argue that the game I played was infinitely safer than how it was played thirty years before that.

That’s because football continues to get safer and safer every year. Some of that has to do with equipment upgrades. But mostly it’s from rule changes. And to some meatheads (me, for instance), it is detrimental to the game. For it is the fear factor in football that taught me fear is not something to run from. It is to be met head-on.

Growing up, I was afraid of everything.

My teachers. My parents. My coaches.

Other boys.

Every girl on the planet.

I loved football for lots of reasons at the time, but it was not something I feared. I felt invincible on the field.

It wasn’t until I got to college and had to compete against guys that quite literally could kill me that fear started to creep in. The next time you watch football, you can see what I’m talking about. A quarterback sliding to avoid being tackled is probably what comes to your mind first, but that’s not what I mean.

What I’m referring to is something we referred to as “turning down” a play. A blocker running towards a defender and bracing himself before collision, instead of exploding through impact, has “turned down” his block. He’s chosen not to complete his assignment out of self-preservation.

A tackler running towards a ballcarrier and at the last minute deciding to go very low and essentially trip the runner, instead of exploding through the runner and executing a proper tackle, has “turned down” that tackle.

Many call these ‘business decisions.’ And they have become more and more acceptable in football. Deion Sanders was well known back in the day for making business decisions when it came to tackling. He was being paid handsomely to cover wide receivers, and getting hurt tackling someone like Jerome Bettis, or Brent Jones, didn’t make sense.

To him, anyway.

Business decisions aside, I learned through football that making choices like this was a sign of weakness. Not a weakness in strength, courage, or toughness. But in character. Because when you ‘turned down’ one of these plays, you were letting your teammates down. They were putting their neck on the line for you, so you needed to reciprocate in kind.

This week I embarked upon a new journey. One that has me fearful. I have a book idea that I am very excited about, and that could be absolutely amazing. But the number of hurdles between me and the end zone is daunting to say the least.

And unfortunately, I don’t have teammates to hold me accountable anymore. If I don’t accomplish this book, I am not letting anyone down. My family will still love me.

And heck, by the time the process is over, my 16-year-old daughter might actually let me hug her in public again.

So, if you’ve gotten this far, I’m going to consider you my teammate. The fact that you’re here means you’re going to go on this journey with me.

Lucky you 😉.

In addition to the book, I’ve got new ideas and experiences that I plan to share with you this fall. Both here in this newsletter and on the SilentPunt Podcast.

Until then,

QUESTION FOR THE COMMENTS:

Is there something you are currently fearful of taking on?