Empty Calories & Male Curiosity, #6

Gilligan's Island, Sarah Vowell, & a very Rage Against the Machine Christmas.

QUICK HITTERS:

1. We had an awesome bunch of newcomers join the SilentPunt crew over the holidays - welcome! If you haven’t joined us yet you can do so for free below.

2. Subscriber only podcast returns next week. Travis & I couldn’t coordinate our schedules this past week. Here is my excuse….

Recognize the island on the left? It is Sandy Cay in the Bahamas, the location of the opening sequence for season 1 of Gilligan's Island.

3. We are six editions into this newsletter and I cannot believe I have yet to recommend one of my favorite authors: Sarah Vowell. I’m recommending The Wordy Shipmates because I think it fits in best with what this newsletter represents. However, you absolutely can’t go wrong with anything else she has ever written. (Sidebar: If any of you has info on what has happened to Ms. Vowell let me and the rest of our crew know. To my knowledge she has not published in quite some time.)

Shout-out to subscriber and longtime friend Jim for the Vowell recommendation many years ago.

GOING DEEP:

I love Christmas music. While people’s opinions on the best Christmas music might be quite polarizing, no one can doubt its ubiquity during the season. This year I noticed more and more random bands that have Christmas songs. Fall Out Boy and Judas Priest’s Rob Halford come to mind as two of the strangest.

Anyway, because my mind spends most of its idle time wandering aimlessly I started to think about what bands might NEVER make a Christmas song or album. In short order one definitive favorite came to mind: Rage Against The Machine (RATM).

Since they’ve disbanded (is that where that word comes from?) I know this will never happen. I’m also positive crooner Zack de la Rocha and kick-ass guitarist Tom Morello would never sell out.

So, I decided to do it for them. Ten stanzas long…one stanza each for every song on their debut album.

Google now edits this image…it had to clear a special filter just for me to download it.

A Very RATM Christmas

On the first day of Christmas,

Bombtrack made me yearn.

Oh yes, climate change is real,

Yes we’re gonna burn.

…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,

Killing In The Name Of is no more.

I won’t do what you tell me Elon & Jeff,

I am not one to adore.

…

All I want for Christmas,

Is to Take The Power Back.

No more lies, no more lies,

Lies in DC are back.

…

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas,

Settle for Nothing in our lives.

In a world of violent rage,

We continue to colonize.

…

It’s the most wonderful time of the year,

A Bullet In The Head they’ll try.

Standin’ in line & believin’ the lies,

I got a credit card - I’ll buy.

…

Santa Claus is coming to town,

You must Know Your Enemy.

Is there an American dream?

We’ve lost our identity.

…

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

We all gotta Wake Up.

Stop the troublemakers,

Make them sip from the cup.

…

Feliz Navidad,

With a Fistful of Steel.

Game of survival,

All we gotta do is heal.

…

Santa Claus is comin to town,

To put down a Township Rebellion.

Why stand on your silent platform,

My man you need to be a hellion.

…

Baby it’s cold outside,

Freedom is in flight.

Our anger is a gift,

It’s our turn to fight.

…