Obviously I have so much to say. So much that I don’t even think I can process it all! Do you have any idea how happy it makes me to see my book next to a dog??? Let’s start there! Second, I really need you to play Dungeons & Dragons. For real. With snacks and beer we need to make this happen, Henny!
Well, snacks & beer (whiskey more likely) would be a necessity. But I don’t know Shelly, it seems like an uber complicated game. Friends of ours tried to teach me euchre recently and I felt like a kindergartener in an astrophysics lecture.
It is less complicated than cribbage. It's just a storytelling game and clearly you're aces at that! One day, Henny! With Darla and Maverick too. Dogs love dice.
Henny, as a guy who spent 36-1/2 of his formative years in Chicago, I take umbrage of your dismissing the Italian Beef sandwich - you simply had the wrong one - you need to visit Al’s #1 Italian Beef on West Taylor Street in Chicago. And, yes, you need to order it “wet.” It’s kinda’ like ordering a Philly cheesesteak “wid” - there’s no other way. My favorite, during our six years living there, was Jim’s, at 4th and South - I hear it burned down a few years ago, and did not reopen - a shame.
I played a Star Wars-themed game with a bunch of nerds (and my non-nerd wife Kelly- we were newly married and I talked her into it) in 1995. There was a lot of booze there (and even more at the postgame celebration- I nearly died and no, I’m not kidding) and it was actually pretty easy and fun.
I was basically a knock-off Han Solo and Kelly was a Mandalorian (though no one knew it at the time). The group were pretty fun to hang out with except for one guy. His name was Fat Jack and he was so fat (in the real world) that his tattoos kept seeping into his fat, necessitating constant touch-up sessions. He was weirdly proud of this. Every two minutes or so he’d say something like: “I fire my blaster in frustration.” We all wanted to kill him. In the game, that is.
Yeah, in the game…
Because Kelly joined our group after we had initially met (in-game) and she was a bounty hunter, Fat Jack decided he didn’t trust her. Without consulting us, he snuck up on her during our negotiation/conversation, knocked her out, and tied her up. She was like, “Are you freaking kidding me?!?”
He laughed and then made a split-second decision to run back and steal someone else in the party’s lightsaber (which was safely stashed in my Millenium Falcon knock-off ship) while we were all distracted. Being a top-shelf idiot, he promptly forgot about the deadly and extremely pissed off bounty hunter that he’d left behind.
While we were all back at the ship (I believe she was called the “Million Shot”- as in: “It’s a one in a million shot, but it just might work!”) dealing with the ridiculous Mexican standoff that Fat Jack had created (to steal the lightsaber he had severely wounded one party member and was then threatening the rest of us with a grenade- he was a complete moron and had at least one halfhearted ally), Kelly asked the game master if she could try and get free. She rolled well (she was always great at dice games) and got free with no problems. (Note: Since we were in different game locations, she and the game master went to the hall away from everyone so she could tell him her actions.)
She gathered all of her bounty hunter gear (almost entirely made up of deadly weapons), which Fat Jack had carelessly left behind, and then asked the game master, “Can I track which way everyone went?” He said, “You’re a bounty hunter. That isn’t a problem for you.” He asked her what she wanted to do. She said, “I want to track them and, when I find them, I’m going to kill Jack.”
We didn’t hear any of this, of course. We were busy trying to use logic and/or threats and/or bribery to get Fat Jack to stop threatening to blow everyone up. Nothing was working. He was standing in the open hatch of the ship, with his back to the ramp leading outside, taunting us with his now-pinless grenade and being a complete tool.
At this point, Kelly came back into the actual room. The game master asked her what she wanted to do next. With a very evil smile on her face, she said, “I want to sneak up on Jack and cut his head off with my vibro-axe.” She rolled well and he said, “You move towards the ship and your target making absolutely no noise. You are one with the shadows.”
Fat Jack stopped laughing and looked at her. He got really quiet and asked the game master, “Do I hear or sense anything behind me?” He rolled and the game master said, “You notice nothing out of the ordinary. All of your attention is on the grenade in your hand and the blasters pointed at you.”
Finally, Kelly was standing behind him. She told the game master, “I swing my vibro-axe as hard as I can and chop Jack’s head off.” Jack threw out a panicked, “Do I hear anything now?!?”
The game master smiled and shook his head no.
Kelly threw the dice, to complete the removal of her target’s noggin, but had an uncharacteristically bad roll. The game master said, “Ooh! You don’t cut his head off,” Kelly groaned and Jack cheered, but then he said, “but you slice the back of his neck. Jack roll the dice to see what happens.”
Jack was sweating. He rolled very poorly. The game master said, “Jack, the cut on your neck doesn’t do much damage, but it distracts you and causes you to drop the grenade. As you scramble to pick it up and throw it away, you trip and fall on top of it. It explodes and your body takes ALL of the force of the blast. You are dead but, by falling on the grenade, no one else in your party is hurt and the ship is undamaged.”
We were all howling with laughter, as Fat Jack loudly protested. Kelly said, “Now that he’s dead, I have no other problems with your group and would love to join you going forward.” We all told her that sounded agreeable and our adventure continued- minus Fat Jack. He went in the living room and soothed himself with booze and snacks.
In the end, a good time was had by most, and now I have a role-playing/Star Wars story to tell for the rest of my life. I’ll take that as a win.
Ha! No worries. What I'm specifically annoyed by now is people on the left and the right who treat politics as if it's a football game (and not even with good sportsmanship). Like they care more about their side winning than they care about being consistent with their principles.
Obviously I have so much to say. So much that I don’t even think I can process it all! Do you have any idea how happy it makes me to see my book next to a dog??? Let’s start there! Second, I really need you to play Dungeons & Dragons. For real. With snacks and beer we need to make this happen, Henny!
Well, snacks & beer (whiskey more likely) would be a necessity. But I don’t know Shelly, it seems like an uber complicated game. Friends of ours tried to teach me euchre recently and I felt like a kindergartener in an astrophysics lecture.
It is less complicated than cribbage. It's just a storytelling game and clearly you're aces at that! One day, Henny! With Darla and Maverick too. Dogs love dice.
Less complicated than cribbage makes me feel like there is hope for me
How was there no beer?!?!?
Right?!?!
Definitely an oversight. It's basically written in the rulebooks-- for D&D AND Wisconsin.
Henny, as a guy who spent 36-1/2 of his formative years in Chicago, I take umbrage of your dismissing the Italian Beef sandwich - you simply had the wrong one - you need to visit Al’s #1 Italian Beef on West Taylor Street in Chicago. And, yes, you need to order it “wet.” It’s kinda’ like ordering a Philly cheesesteak “wid” - there’s no other way. My favorite, during our six years living there, was Jim’s, at 4th and South - I hear it burned down a few years ago, and did not reopen - a shame.
Jim’s sounds like an insurance scam. Typical FIB behavior 🤣😉
I had my sandwich at Portillos…which all my Chicago peeps say is legit. But I’ll take your word on Al’s!
What’s up with Wisconsin people? You don’t like your MN neighbors and don’t like IL neighbors. What’s your temperature for MI?!
Minnesotans are fine. Just don’t bring up the Vikings and we cool 🤣
nobody seems to care about Michigan because the Lions have been trash for so long (even though they are good now)
Having now typed that I remembered what UW fans say about UM….”Ann Arbor is a Whore”. I was definitely taken aback the first time I heard that one.
Well it sounds like you can check that off your list forever lol. No food, no beer? No thanks
🤣🤣🤣 gotta be honest, I think Fat Jack chillin in the living room all by himself with snacks and booze means he was the actual winner 😄
I would say yes except Shelly is making a somewhat compelling case 🤔
Here are my two cents on role-playing games.
I played a Star Wars-themed game with a bunch of nerds (and my non-nerd wife Kelly- we were newly married and I talked her into it) in 1995. There was a lot of booze there (and even more at the postgame celebration- I nearly died and no, I’m not kidding) and it was actually pretty easy and fun.
I was basically a knock-off Han Solo and Kelly was a Mandalorian (though no one knew it at the time). The group were pretty fun to hang out with except for one guy. His name was Fat Jack and he was so fat (in the real world) that his tattoos kept seeping into his fat, necessitating constant touch-up sessions. He was weirdly proud of this. Every two minutes or so he’d say something like: “I fire my blaster in frustration.” We all wanted to kill him. In the game, that is.
Yeah, in the game…
Because Kelly joined our group after we had initially met (in-game) and she was a bounty hunter, Fat Jack decided he didn’t trust her. Without consulting us, he snuck up on her during our negotiation/conversation, knocked her out, and tied her up. She was like, “Are you freaking kidding me?!?”
He laughed and then made a split-second decision to run back and steal someone else in the party’s lightsaber (which was safely stashed in my Millenium Falcon knock-off ship) while we were all distracted. Being a top-shelf idiot, he promptly forgot about the deadly and extremely pissed off bounty hunter that he’d left behind.
While we were all back at the ship (I believe she was called the “Million Shot”- as in: “It’s a one in a million shot, but it just might work!”) dealing with the ridiculous Mexican standoff that Fat Jack had created (to steal the lightsaber he had severely wounded one party member and was then threatening the rest of us with a grenade- he was a complete moron and had at least one halfhearted ally), Kelly asked the game master if she could try and get free. She rolled well (she was always great at dice games) and got free with no problems. (Note: Since we were in different game locations, she and the game master went to the hall away from everyone so she could tell him her actions.)
She gathered all of her bounty hunter gear (almost entirely made up of deadly weapons), which Fat Jack had carelessly left behind, and then asked the game master, “Can I track which way everyone went?” He said, “You’re a bounty hunter. That isn’t a problem for you.” He asked her what she wanted to do. She said, “I want to track them and, when I find them, I’m going to kill Jack.”
We didn’t hear any of this, of course. We were busy trying to use logic and/or threats and/or bribery to get Fat Jack to stop threatening to blow everyone up. Nothing was working. He was standing in the open hatch of the ship, with his back to the ramp leading outside, taunting us with his now-pinless grenade and being a complete tool.
At this point, Kelly came back into the actual room. The game master asked her what she wanted to do next. With a very evil smile on her face, she said, “I want to sneak up on Jack and cut his head off with my vibro-axe.” She rolled well and he said, “You move towards the ship and your target making absolutely no noise. You are one with the shadows.”
Fat Jack stopped laughing and looked at her. He got really quiet and asked the game master, “Do I hear or sense anything behind me?” He rolled and the game master said, “You notice nothing out of the ordinary. All of your attention is on the grenade in your hand and the blasters pointed at you.”
Finally, Kelly was standing behind him. She told the game master, “I swing my vibro-axe as hard as I can and chop Jack’s head off.” Jack threw out a panicked, “Do I hear anything now?!?”
The game master smiled and shook his head no.
Kelly threw the dice, to complete the removal of her target’s noggin, but had an uncharacteristically bad roll. The game master said, “Ooh! You don’t cut his head off,” Kelly groaned and Jack cheered, but then he said, “but you slice the back of his neck. Jack roll the dice to see what happens.”
Jack was sweating. He rolled very poorly. The game master said, “Jack, the cut on your neck doesn’t do much damage, but it distracts you and causes you to drop the grenade. As you scramble to pick it up and throw it away, you trip and fall on top of it. It explodes and your body takes ALL of the force of the blast. You are dead but, by falling on the grenade, no one else in your party is hurt and the ship is undamaged.”
We were all howling with laughter, as Fat Jack loudly protested. Kelly said, “Now that he’s dead, I have no other problems with your group and would love to join you going forward.” We all told her that sounded agreeable and our adventure continued- minus Fat Jack. He went in the living room and soothed himself with booze and snacks.
In the end, a good time was had by most, and now I have a role-playing/Star Wars story to tell for the rest of my life. I’ll take that as a win.
Good for you taking a foray into the unknown. I wouldn’t have a clue there either. But yay for historical markers
They are everywhere and they are glorious!!
I like Chris Hedges, but now that I think about it, you're right -- he's full of criticism and short on solutions.
It’s pretty annoying once you notice, hope I haven’t ruined him for you!
Ha! No worries. What I'm specifically annoyed by now is people on the left and the right who treat politics as if it's a football game (and not even with good sportsmanship). Like they care more about their side winning than they care about being consistent with their principles.
I’ve read stuff about that. Our society’s fixation on “winning” (superficially) isn’t helping.
Holy cow, I had no there was such hostility between Wisconsin and Illinois. I thought all you Midwesterners were so chilled 😂
Being a transplant my dislike for Illinoisans isn’t as fierce as most…but it is certainly there.
I foolishly thought it was limited to the Packers and the Bears.
No, it’s very much a thing 🤣