Your daughter(s) will always remember when you showed up for them at dance comps or meets, even if you weren’t the first hug. My parents never made it to a single meet, competition, or game, and I felt that. Seeing your parents’ faces in the crowd, even when it’s not cool to admit it, always feels good. You’re a good dad.
Your daughter is lucky to have you. I think that it is in those moments when a parent feels underappreciated that the kids actually value the most in the end.
Who knows. I actually tried thinking about this from my parent’s perspective…like how they felt raising me and my sisters. But I didn’t get very far. I don’t think that generation thought about parenting the way ours does. (Not saying that in a bad way)
Great post, Henny! Your daughter might not run to you straightaway for that hug, but there's not a doubt in my mind that she needs you there for that competition. And I'm also sure you play a specific role that's crucial, only different, for your daughter. But I love the analogy of riding the wave. So little is in our control, even in parenting, when we think we can control everything!
And can't believe that coaching experience, btw. What morons!!
Henny, the main thrust of your piece brings to mind the following Jewish saying (though it certainly applies to everyone on Planet Earth): "Man plans ... and God laughs."
It’s more than if they remember that you showed up. Maybe they will maybe they won’t. But they will grow up knowing they were loved and cared for and being at those meets is just one little part of it. It’s all one big thing and each moment is part of it. So the hug is nice but the real real is them growing up safe and having a true foundation to build a life from.
Henny, I’m sure your daughter appreciates you being there. Kids look to moms and dads for different types of support - they let you know what they need. Also, Lloyd Bridges called, and he made it clear that you are not to wear his #1 Dad t-shirt. . .”Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum!”
Can we guess which D3 school - Wisconsin-Eau Claire?
Such a touching post, Henny. Whenever I'm away from my daughter, I miss her dearly but then I quickly get over it when I realise it's not about me, but about her and what's best. I know that when she's with the other side of the family, she's being spoiled and well looked after and having fun, which lifts my spirits. A similar feeling to what you're experiencing no doubt.
Definitely similar. I’ve got some divorced dad friends and honestly hadn’t thought about that part of this. For whatever reason I think I’ve only ever thought about it from the kid’s perspective. It’s gotta be super challenging to put on a brave face for your kid when they’re leaving you to spend time with the other side. Regardless of how good they are.
I’m pretty sure compared to most divorced dads, I’ve got it lucky. Other than during school holiday times, when we might be apart for a week or two, I see her almost every day at least and my ex and I are on great terms and we still do things as a family.
I’m a firm believer in the wave 🌊 notion. The best I’ve been able to tell is that Timing dictates a significant chunk of success, and things like work ethic dictate how long you surf that wave. Of course there’s other factors, but in general, that seems to be true enough.
Agree totally. That is a lesson I used to share with my players often. Like, eventually, if you work hard and treat people right, you’re gonna be successful. When and to what degree that happens is pretty much out of your control though.
Thanks William, and I was hoping someone would ask that (I try to make those recs really brief).
In short, I don’t know yet. As a general rule I don’t read much fiction. I didn’t read the Handmaid’s Tale until maybe having watched like the first 4 seasons of the show. Then I loved the book.
I first tried reading the Testaments last year and didn’t make it very far. But now I am loving the show and have gone back to the book. But the show takes some major liberties with the story, so it’s a little weird.
I didn't ever run into my papa's arms that I can remember, but I still feel a distinct connection with him. He's been gone for some time now and that doesn't change anything. I still think of him so often. I send thoughts his way regularly. I wonder whether he felt as you describe. If he did he doesn't anymore.
Yes. You just keep doing what you are doing. Later in your daughter’s life it will be a great loving memory for her and you. What my boys remember is I was always at their soccer games and cooked dinner for them served at a table. At that time mary worked long late hours as a hairdresser and my jobs were more traditional hours. Picking them up from after school care etc.
Your daughter(s) will always remember when you showed up for them at dance comps or meets, even if you weren’t the first hug. My parents never made it to a single meet, competition, or game, and I felt that. Seeing your parents’ faces in the crowd, even when it’s not cool to admit it, always feels good. You’re a good dad.
😢 😀 Well that’s a very nice thing to say Brandi, thanks! And sorry that was your experience growing up.
Good morning, Maverick!
He says good morning back! 🐾
Have a nice Sunday, either of you!
Your daughter is lucky to have you. I think that it is in those moments when a parent feels underappreciated that the kids actually value the most in the end.
Who knows. I actually tried thinking about this from my parent’s perspective…like how they felt raising me and my sisters. But I didn’t get very far. I don’t think that generation thought about parenting the way ours does. (Not saying that in a bad way)
Great post, Henny! Your daughter might not run to you straightaway for that hug, but there's not a doubt in my mind that she needs you there for that competition. And I'm also sure you play a specific role that's crucial, only different, for your daughter. But I love the analogy of riding the wave. So little is in our control, even in parenting, when we think we can control everything!
And can't believe that coaching experience, btw. What morons!!
Haha, not gonna disagree with your moron comment 🤣
Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball and could read her mind to know what she needs. When they’re young that part is so much easier.
So true. Parenting older kids is harder for that reason. It doesn't take as much stamina, but it's trickier for sure.
They say that 90% of success is showing up. Your daughter will never forget that you showed up for her.
Appreciate that Paul
Henny, the main thrust of your piece brings to mind the following Jewish saying (though it certainly applies to everyone on Planet Earth): "Man plans ... and God laughs."
I like that
It’s more than if they remember that you showed up. Maybe they will maybe they won’t. But they will grow up knowing they were loved and cared for and being at those meets is just one little part of it. It’s all one big thing and each moment is part of it. So the hug is nice but the real real is them growing up safe and having a true foundation to build a life from.
Great piece Henny
Appreciate it Seth! We’re all just doing our best I suppose!
Henny, I’m sure your daughter appreciates you being there. Kids look to moms and dads for different types of support - they let you know what they need. Also, Lloyd Bridges called, and he made it clear that you are not to wear his #1 Dad t-shirt. . .”Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum, Mandelbaum!”
“All aboard the pain train!”
Your daughter knows. It registers resoundingly that you are there. It will make a big difference later too, as she looks back with perspective.
Thanks Steve!!
Can we guess which D3 school - Wisconsin-Eau Claire?
Such a touching post, Henny. Whenever I'm away from my daughter, I miss her dearly but then I quickly get over it when I realise it's not about me, but about her and what's best. I know that when she's with the other side of the family, she's being spoiled and well looked after and having fun, which lifts my spirits. A similar feeling to what you're experiencing no doubt.
Nice guess, incorrect however.
Definitely similar. I’ve got some divorced dad friends and honestly hadn’t thought about that part of this. For whatever reason I think I’ve only ever thought about it from the kid’s perspective. It’s gotta be super challenging to put on a brave face for your kid when they’re leaving you to spend time with the other side. Regardless of how good they are.
Beloit? Carroll?
I’m pretty sure compared to most divorced dads, I’ve got it lucky. Other than during school holiday times, when we might be apart for a week or two, I see her almost every day at least and my ex and I are on great terms and we still do things as a family.
You lured me in with Morty. Well done, Henny. An enjoyable read.
Gary!! What’s up friend? How’d the chiefs make out in the draft?
I’m a firm believer in the wave 🌊 notion. The best I’ve been able to tell is that Timing dictates a significant chunk of success, and things like work ethic dictate how long you surf that wave. Of course there’s other factors, but in general, that seems to be true enough.
Agree totally. That is a lesson I used to share with my players often. Like, eventually, if you work hard and treat people right, you’re gonna be successful. When and to what degree that happens is pretty much out of your control though.
Great post Henny. So is the book better or the show? We're watching too of course. But haven't read the book.
Thanks William, and I was hoping someone would ask that (I try to make those recs really brief).
In short, I don’t know yet. As a general rule I don’t read much fiction. I didn’t read the Handmaid’s Tale until maybe having watched like the first 4 seasons of the show. Then I loved the book.
I first tried reading the Testaments last year and didn’t make it very far. But now I am loving the show and have gone back to the book. But the show takes some major liberties with the story, so it’s a little weird.
I didn't ever run into my papa's arms that I can remember, but I still feel a distinct connection with him. He's been gone for some time now and that doesn't change anything. I still think of him so often. I send thoughts his way regularly. I wonder whether he felt as you describe. If he did he doesn't anymore.
Good read. Thank you Henny.
Thanks MaryBeth.
Love that you call him your papa ❤️
Pick your spots, pick your battles. Indeed. Good stuff, Henny.
Appreciate it man!!
Yes. You just keep doing what you are doing. Later in your daughter’s life it will be a great loving memory for her and you. What my boys remember is I was always at their soccer games and cooked dinner for them served at a table. At that time mary worked long late hours as a hairdresser and my jobs were more traditional hours. Picking them up from after school care etc.
Good for you for being there for your boys!!