SilentPunt, 6am Jukebox: Ebony and Ivory Edition

My brain damage is here for your merriment.

SilentPunt, 6AM Jukebox: Ebony and Ivory Edition

Almost a year ago I turned 50. I’ll spare you the obligatory jokes, aside from this one:

While I was prepared for some of the things that you lose when you get older (hair, strength, hearing, and a general vitality for life that makes living in these godforsaken times palatable), I was wholly unprepared for the things I would gain.

However, most of the things I’ve gained are really net losses. Things like ear hair, back hair, and a pretty strong disdain for people under the age of thirty. None of these ‘gains’ are helping.

The law of conservation of energy states that energy cannot be created nor destroyed, only transformed. While it is true that I’ve lost much of the hair on my head, and I’ve gained some in my ears, it has not been a 1-to-1 trade-off.

Like, yes, I have hair in my ears, but not as much as I’ve lost on my head. So what gives? Where has the rest of that energy gone?

I have a theory, and no, it does not include disproving one of the foundational tenets of modern science. I don’t even know if this theory holds true for the rest of humanity. But I think it’s true for me.

I think that extra energy has found its way into my brain. Last week, I introduced you to this beautiful girl who taught me a thing or two about meditation.

Garnet.

As I mentioned in that piece, part of the impetus behind me taking up meditation is to clear my mind of the random thoughts that seem to haunt me like the ghost of William Hung.

No clue if he’s actually dead. But he should be. Sorry. That was mean.

And they are not only thoughts, sometimes they are songs. Or more precisely, snippets of songs. On most mornings, I have some random line or two of a particular song in my head. For no apparent reason. Earlier this week, it was this little ditty:

“You are blind as a bat, and I have sight.”

If you don’t recognize those lyrics it is probably because your brain function is fully intact. Kudos to you. Because those lyrics were sung 44 years ago at 11:30 pm Eastern Standard Time. Around that time, Paul McCartney¹ and Stevie Wonder collaborated on a duet called “Ebony and Ivory.” The song was a call for racial harmony, using the black and white keys on a piano as a metaphor. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that version.

What I did hear, 44 years ago, was the satirical version of the song Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo performed on Saturday Night Live. Murphy as Wonder, and Piscopo as an aging Frank Sinatra, recording what purports to be a new album. Instead of the veiled use of a piano as metaphor, Piscopo’s Sinatra decides they should just cut to the chase and sing about Stevie Wonder being black, and him being white.

Piscapo-Sinatra sings to Murphy-Wonder as they are both sitting at a piano,

“You are blind as a bat, and I have sight.”

If I have to tell you who is who, you should probably just stop reading this.

At the beginning of the skit, Piscopo needs to be introduced as Mr. Sinatra, because he bears so little resemblance to Frank. Eddie on the other hand, as you can see above, needs no introduction when he enters.

As soon as Eddie starts singing, it is a little shocking how good his voice is. So good in fact, that the audience starts clapping shortly after he begins. Hard to believe his singing career didn’t take off…

You probably could’ve gone the rest of your life without knowing that existed. You can thank me later. Although, if I’m being fair, his follow-up to that, Party All The Time, is kind of a banger.

Aside from the ‘blind as a bat’ line, there is really only one other funny part in the entire skit, and it’s unintentional: Piscopo giving off huge white-guy vibes by clumsily snapping his fingers out of tune with the music.

I initially intended to add the YouTube link to this skit at the end of this. But after watching it again, I realize that would be unkind. Aside from the couple of laughs above, it’s not SNL’s best work.

So instead, I’ll just leave you with dogs. Because dogs are great. And drop me a ❤️ or a comment if you had fun with this!

Maverick & Darla, in their St. Patty's Day collars ❤️

If you missed last week’s piece on meditation and Garnet, you can read it here:

1. No, I will not call him Sir Paul McCartney. The British Empire needs to get over itself.