Boy oh boy that line that parents straddle is so real. My kids are still so little, so I have the less intense forms of this right now. How closely do I watch when they're at the playground? Should I stand by in case they fall?
You frame it so perfectly, too. Your time in the car with her is great, I doubt you resent it at all (because you seem like an awesome dad), but there's the little voice that wonders if safety has deprived the younger generations of too much of the "figure it out".
Not sure if we'll ever figure out which way to lean. It seems more like walking a tightrope than anything, but at least we recognize it!
Also, the texts "bruh" and "that's it, I'm texting mom" made me lol at work 😂
Straddling is a great way to put it. I remember when our daughter was younger and worrying that she didn’t have enough friends at one point. Then, as she started to get more friends it was like…wait, are these friends all good kids? 😀
My mom forgot to pick me up after swim practice (at high school) once. It was my birthday. She’s never lived it down. I was seriously like, WTF, Mom?! 😂 And then my dad drove me to the DMV to get a “hardship” license at 15. Yep, they gave it to me. Nothing has done more for my social status than that license did. 😎
A fun post. I remember being a cheerleader in high school in the days before we all had smartphones or any handheld phone. The only place in our small town where I could call Mom for a ride home after a long bus ride at ten at night was a local tavern always with a lineup of about four older men at the bar. If it wasn't raining or sleeting, I waited outside. Ah, the good ol' days.
Going to primary school in the snow? I dragged my sleigh in the winter, return was easy, all downhill. Alone. Years later, going to grammar school? I biked, left the bicycle at the tramway station, took the tramway till the city. I was under 17. If anything happened, I rang from the school or the station. I love that your dogs can read.
It happened when I lived in Switzerland. Snowed in? Mother opened the window, put a chair, brother and I climbed on it, whence over the window. On the other side, no drop, the snow was almost up to the sill. The sleigh was useful, I dragged my brother on it for a while, then he did it. Upon returning, all downhill. Youpieee! We landed in the snow? We righted the sleigh and continued. Hot chocolate awaited us ... after doing our homework.
It’s funny I have been thinking about this kind of stuff a bunch lately even though we don’t have children. I remember coming home and my parents were at work. We did our own laundry, let ourselves into the house with a key I had on a shoestring, and all of us learned to cook. It didn’t matter if you were a boy or girl we learned life skills like changing your oil too.
We must have been “wonderful parents “, remember the time we let a neighbor take you to see her son play soccer and then she promptly forgot that she had you and left you at the field totally across town? Scared the shit out of us, you must have been out of your mind with worry. This was even before middle school. How did you all survive living with us? And I think we were the responsible people in the neighborhood.
it brought to mind me trying to reach my dad on a landline when I needed a ride home from my summer restaurant job when it was pouring down rain. I wound up riding my bike home in the dark and dripped into the front door, thinking my younger brother had been hogging the phone again "who was on the phone?" and it turned out it was my dad, who never used the phone , and I was just standing there feeling wet and stupid while he waited for me to say something about him using his own phone. Good times. Well-written and engaging!
Landlines being the only option now seems like a bazillion years ago. And I didn’t even get my first cell phone till I was an adult. Can’t imagine what young people think.
Man, I don't know how parents raise kids without going crazy with worry. While I never procreated (uh ... to the best of my knowledge...), I can't imagine the sense of responsibility. Personally, I'm up at night worrying about how well my houseplant cuttings are rooting in new soil (NOT kidding), and the very idea of taking The Big Step and actually getting my own dog, at 67, leads to cold sweats. (Note: I'm 67, not the future rescue pooch. But you already knew that.)
I'm actually moving to my own apartment on May 1. A primary reason: to get my own dog (who may very well rescue me). Given my fear of being responsible for another living creature (seriously), it'll be loving and terrifying ... and probably the subject of at least one essay.
And 10-4 about 6-7. (The whole phenomenon makes me want to go smoke some 420.)
My parents had corn stands all over town. From an early age (10/11) they would just drop me off and pick me up later. No phone, no way to communicate. I had a cash box that anyone could have easily stolen from my chicken leg sized arms. One of my locations was in a liquor store parking lot and I remember a business man giving me his card stating, “If you ever want to do something different.”
As an adult, I’m realizing he wasn’t offering me an office job at age 10. And to think, I really considered calling that number to get out of the “slave labor” of a family farm 😅
I’ve got 4 kids, I’ve never been a helicopter parent. I’ve accidentally left a kid here or there, with the rest of the kids giggling, recognizing we’re one man down, and not saying a peep. I guess all of these experiences are character building.
(Also my kids are now 14, 16, 18, 20. As a parent I’ll never stop worrying about them)
My best friend grew up a slave laborer on his family’s dairy farm 🤣. Now he’s got four kids and I can attest they’ve left one here or there from time to time. I’ve got it easy with only one kiddo.
As a longtime Illinoisan, I appreciate the shoutout - I never heard “FIB” before, and I spent plenty of time north of the border (when the drinking age in Illinois was 21 and was 18 in Wisconsin). I recall meeting Steve Blass a few years ago in Pittsburgh and telling him the first baseball book I read was “Ball Four.” He said, “That’s rough.”
Yeah, people here that are of a certain age talking about going to bars when they were 18, and doing so whistfully, is definitely a thing. Wisconsinites like their bars.
Blass was a speaker at a forum sponsored by my newspaper employer. We were too cheap to pay our panelists - we hosted them for dinner at a steakhouse instead. He’s a super nice guy, and has been a broadcaster in Pittsburgh for years.
My mom was a stay-at-home mom for most of my life and still never once picked me up from school, no matter how far we lived. Rain, sleet, snow — we walked. Uphill both ways, as the legends say. Those were the days they didn’t care where you were. I could come home at 4pm or 7pm and not an eyelash would be batted. Our kids will never know that life. Look at us rocking our carpool skills and being the BEST parents ever. 😂
I just sent this to all of my (5!) siblings. I remember the combination of anxiety and exhilaration - maybe more exhilaration - of being forgotten for a bit. Loved this post.
Boy oh boy that line that parents straddle is so real. My kids are still so little, so I have the less intense forms of this right now. How closely do I watch when they're at the playground? Should I stand by in case they fall?
You frame it so perfectly, too. Your time in the car with her is great, I doubt you resent it at all (because you seem like an awesome dad), but there's the little voice that wonders if safety has deprived the younger generations of too much of the "figure it out".
Not sure if we'll ever figure out which way to lean. It seems more like walking a tightrope than anything, but at least we recognize it!
Also, the texts "bruh" and "that's it, I'm texting mom" made me lol at work 😂
Straddling is a great way to put it. I remember when our daughter was younger and worrying that she didn’t have enough friends at one point. Then, as she started to get more friends it was like…wait, are these friends all good kids? 😀
We’re gonna worry regardless I guess
My mom forgot to pick me up after swim practice (at high school) once. It was my birthday. She’s never lived it down. I was seriously like, WTF, Mom?! 😂 And then my dad drove me to the DMV to get a “hardship” license at 15. Yep, they gave it to me. Nothing has done more for my social status than that license did. 😎
Ha! You were the coolest 15 year old around!
On your birthday?!? That’s some serious Sixteen Candles shit 🤣
DEAD. 😂
A fun post. I remember being a cheerleader in high school in the days before we all had smartphones or any handheld phone. The only place in our small town where I could call Mom for a ride home after a long bus ride at ten at night was a local tavern always with a lineup of about four older men at the bar. If it wasn't raining or sleeting, I waited outside. Ah, the good ol' days.
That’s awesome. Can you imagine that happening now? Bartender would probably call Child Protective Services 🤣
Going to primary school in the snow? I dragged my sleigh in the winter, return was easy, all downhill. Alone. Years later, going to grammar school? I biked, left the bicycle at the tramway station, took the tramway till the city. I was under 17. If anything happened, I rang from the school or the station. I love that your dogs can read.
Wow, quite the commute. Don’t see that happening anymore.
Ha, read?! I’d take our beagle learning to not eat trash 🤣
It happened when I lived in Switzerland. Snowed in? Mother opened the window, put a chair, brother and I climbed on it, whence over the window. On the other side, no drop, the snow was almost up to the sill. The sleigh was useful, I dragged my brother on it for a while, then he did it. Upon returning, all downhill. Youpieee! We landed in the snow? We righted the sleigh and continued. Hot chocolate awaited us ... after doing our homework.
Beagles learn only what is useful for them.
That sounds straight out of a movie, so cool.
Love beagles
Real life in Switzerland, no coddling.
It’s funny I have been thinking about this kind of stuff a bunch lately even though we don’t have children. I remember coming home and my parents were at work. We did our own laundry, let ourselves into the house with a key I had on a shoestring, and all of us learned to cook. It didn’t matter if you were a boy or girl we learned life skills like changing your oil too.
Funny you mention changing oil. My dad was not a car guy so I never learned that skill.
He was a really good teacher & coach though, so that part rubbed off I think!
We must have been “wonderful parents “, remember the time we let a neighbor take you to see her son play soccer and then she promptly forgot that she had you and left you at the field totally across town? Scared the shit out of us, you must have been out of your mind with worry. This was even before middle school. How did you all survive living with us? And I think we were the responsible people in the neighborhood.
You were and are wonderful parents!
And I have no recollection of that at all. I was probably so traumatized I’ve repressed the memory 🤣🤣🤣
Holy cow! My first thought was about how widely this gossip would've blown up on Facebook if it had existed then. 😅
Hahaha. They would’ve been Facebook shamed 😀
Brutally!
it brought to mind me trying to reach my dad on a landline when I needed a ride home from my summer restaurant job when it was pouring down rain. I wound up riding my bike home in the dark and dripped into the front door, thinking my younger brother had been hogging the phone again "who was on the phone?" and it turned out it was my dad, who never used the phone , and I was just standing there feeling wet and stupid while he waited for me to say something about him using his own phone. Good times. Well-written and engaging!
Thanks!
Landlines being the only option now seems like a bazillion years ago. And I didn’t even get my first cell phone till I was an adult. Can’t imagine what young people think.
I would've killed to be a goonie... Or a Fratelli. The level of dysfunction in that family held such a strange appeal for me...
They were great! Did you know the actors who played the Fratelli brothers in real like didn’t like each other either?
No I did not! Go figure 😅
A little weepy here. I tried to give my kids the freedom and independence that I had without being neglectful. Haha.
My mom picked me up from elementary school only if it rained otherwise I walked. This was LA. It never rained.
Yeah, it’s a hard balance to straddle for sure.
No rain sounds very good to me right about now.
Man, I don't know how parents raise kids without going crazy with worry. While I never procreated (uh ... to the best of my knowledge...), I can't imagine the sense of responsibility. Personally, I'm up at night worrying about how well my houseplant cuttings are rooting in new soil (NOT kidding), and the very idea of taking The Big Step and actually getting my own dog, at 67, leads to cold sweats. (Note: I'm 67, not the future rescue pooch. But you already knew that.)
Anyway, hats off to you!
Duuude, get a dog. A rescue senior dog would be perfect. Already house broken, easy peasy!
Also, 6-7!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sorry if you don’t know that. It’s very stupid.
I'm actually moving to my own apartment on May 1. A primary reason: to get my own dog (who may very well rescue me). Given my fear of being responsible for another living creature (seriously), it'll be loving and terrifying ... and probably the subject of at least one essay.
And 10-4 about 6-7. (The whole phenomenon makes me want to go smoke some 420.)
Yay!!!! If you have any questions or need any help let me know. Can’t wait to see him or her!
Nice post. Stetson high? Please tell me you all wore spurs and had duels in the hallways.
Hahaha. Plenty of fights, no gunpowder thankfully.
What a great article!! Hilarious AND food for thought. As a mom to a seventeen year old, this hits home.
Thanks Lisa! Ours is 16…where does the time go???
It’s mind boggling! Turbo speed!!
My parents had corn stands all over town. From an early age (10/11) they would just drop me off and pick me up later. No phone, no way to communicate. I had a cash box that anyone could have easily stolen from my chicken leg sized arms. One of my locations was in a liquor store parking lot and I remember a business man giving me his card stating, “If you ever want to do something different.”
As an adult, I’m realizing he wasn’t offering me an office job at age 10. And to think, I really considered calling that number to get out of the “slave labor” of a family farm 😅
I’ve got 4 kids, I’ve never been a helicopter parent. I’ve accidentally left a kid here or there, with the rest of the kids giggling, recognizing we’re one man down, and not saying a peep. I guess all of these experiences are character building.
(Also my kids are now 14, 16, 18, 20. As a parent I’ll never stop worrying about them)
Totally character building.
My best friend grew up a slave laborer on his family’s dairy farm 🤣. Now he’s got four kids and I can attest they’ve left one here or there from time to time. I’ve got it easy with only one kiddo.
And eww about that creepy old dude.
As a longtime Illinoisan, I appreciate the shoutout - I never heard “FIB” before, and I spent plenty of time north of the border (when the drinking age in Illinois was 21 and was 18 in Wisconsin). I recall meeting Steve Blass a few years ago in Pittsburgh and telling him the first baseball book I read was “Ball Four.” He said, “That’s rough.”
Ha! Where’d you meet him?
Yeah, people here that are of a certain age talking about going to bars when they were 18, and doing so whistfully, is definitely a thing. Wisconsinites like their bars.
Blass was a speaker at a forum sponsored by my newspaper employer. We were too cheap to pay our panelists - we hosted them for dinner at a steakhouse instead. He’s a super nice guy, and has been a broadcaster in Pittsburgh for years.
My mom was a stay-at-home mom for most of my life and still never once picked me up from school, no matter how far we lived. Rain, sleet, snow — we walked. Uphill both ways, as the legends say. Those were the days they didn’t care where you were. I could come home at 4pm or 7pm and not an eyelash would be batted. Our kids will never know that life. Look at us rocking our carpool skills and being the BEST parents ever. 😂
I’m sure in 35 years my kid will be bitching about how she was raised 🤣
Oh, I’m sure of it! As will mine 😅
I just sent this to all of my (5!) siblings. I remember the combination of anxiety and exhilaration - maybe more exhilaration - of being forgotten for a bit. Loved this post.
Elaine, wow. Thanks for sharing with your family. Honestly that really makes me so happy.
It’s amazing how many of us have similar memories.