77 Comments
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Shaun Mandrell's avatar

My father was notorious for never sending the pen back through the drive-thru window at the bank. One-third of our junk drawer was filled with pens from our local bank.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Genius!

Or Diabolical 🤔🤣

Moorea Maguire's avatar

That is so funny.

Jeanne Elbe's avatar

you have an engaging writing style. I hope you have fun writing your stuff.

Cute photo dog with book. Ya’ clever bastard. Treat negotiations. Good one. ~~~Cheers.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I do! And glad you liked it Jeanne 😊

Devorah Loves Bees's avatar

Me…as well as the hotel pens…

Devorah Loves Bees's avatar

😂

Jon Murphy's avatar

You explore all the small curiosities that I want investigated. I’m sure your google search could warrant a bag of popcorn lol Also, I spent nothing short of 80 hours researching how mortgage loans and credit scores work. In the end, it was an ex-con on YouTube who gave me all I needed to know. A good vocational Home-Ec class in high school would be doable to share Dale’s knowledge. Send a copy of this post to your local school board with a petition to higher Dale as a vocational teacher. 🤷🏻‍♂️ great post though

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I bet you’d make a great one as well!!!!

Mary Beth Lathrop's avatar

Oh, this saved my entire week. My throat literally hurts from laughing too hard and, yes, I spotted. Have a great weekend Dude!

😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

MaryBeth I love everything about this comment…except that your week needed saving in the first place!

Thanks a million, and YOU have a great weekend as well!!!

Paul Horton's avatar

Bank pens and sump pumps. Who knew a connection to be made. My dad was a Dale. I wish I listened better.

Rick Lewis's avatar

There's an essay waiting right there Paul in "My dad was a Dale"

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Ha, was about to say the same thing Rick!

CansaFis Foote's avatar

…makes me wanna make personalized pens and leave em in a bank…

Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Omg lmaoooo! It is not only America dealing with bank pen cleptomania. Our pension are tethered her in Canada too 😆 I mean, they used to be, but I haven't stepped foot in a bank since the dawn of technology so I can't be sure about modern day bank pens.

PS: When I saw the picture, I also thought the pen was on a string.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Thanks Kristi!! And good, don’t go back it you don’t have to. They are strange places these days. Like walking into a dying mall with almost all the stores closed…but still fully staffed!!!

Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

LOL I know those malls! I worked in them as a teenager, in the dying shoe store 😆

Michelle Milliken's avatar

Maybe the bank pens were the ones causing the basement noises when they weren't restrained.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Detective Milliken on the case!!!

Bill Southern's avatar

My last two homes have been sump pump-free - some of the happiest days of my life, because water in the basement is a thing. We once went from a real estate closing to water in the basement of our new home - the joys of home owning.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Right? My folks have had that problem for 50 years.

Brandi Wiatrak's avatar

How do you make everyday things so damn funny?? 😂 My dad likes to think he’s a Dale. I got the Temu version of him though and didn’t learn a lick.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Hahaha. My dad was like the anti-Dale so there was no hope for me from the jump.

Melanie's avatar

So much fun, as usual. And spot on.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Thanks Melanie!!!

Larry Urish's avatar

Sheila's right! That looks like a bank pen. And, come to think of it, I have absolutely no idea about the last time I was actually in a bank. Probably around the last time I cracked open an encyclopedia or popped in a cassette tape.

Finally, my Brilliant Thought for the Day: Beware of a seller trying to unload a house with a sump pump in Death Valley. To which I add: you're welcome.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

My 80 year old mom just bought me a dictionary 🤷🏼‍♂️

Larry Urish's avatar

And with that, you have your next writing prompt, Henny: A scintillating essay about the week you read that volume, cover to cover.

BTW, that Nolan Ryan book looks really interesting.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Ha!

It is! You’ll learn more about it later this week 😉

Larry Urish's avatar

My suggestion, to keep you out of the nut farm: Start with "X."

Matt Cyr's avatar

Henny, of all the tough nights I’ve endured, my least fun involved bailing water because our sump pump failed. All night. In a hurricane. Needless to say, I know what a sump pump does, and if it’s going to rain, like really rain, I test that sucker. And the back up generator, and backup pump. Paranoid doesn’t even cover the half of it.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Ooof. That sounds like hell. I’m pretty sure I know everywhere you’ve lived and generally when…but I’m drawing a blank on when/where this would’ve been??

Matt Cyr's avatar

LA. August 2023. Hurricane Hilary. I think technically, by the time it made it to us, it had been downgraded to a trop storm. But for LA, it was a once a century type storm.

My back “yard” is a concrete patio. In the middle is a pool. When the pool overflowed, there was nowhere for the water to go. Wife and I had to bail water over a wall to keep it from flooding our ADU.

Back and shoulders weren’t doing too good the next day.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Holy shit. Tells you how oblivious I am, not only was I not aware of that…I didn’t even know you could get hurricanes over there.

Matt Cyr's avatar

Very rare. I think the last one was in the 1930s. Growing up in the SE, I’d seen plenty of storms like that. Was weird experiencing that in LA.

Sam Mertens (he/him)'s avatar

I think the chained pen was mostly to keep people from getting any ideas. To assure us that the place we put the money we needed to feed our family and pay our rent had everything - everything - secured. It was optics.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

That’s probably right

Sam Mertens (he/him)'s avatar

That, or it was a conspiracy to remind lefties like me of our place.

Albert Cory's avatar

As for "Dale": he now exists as "YouTube."

Anything you can think of, there are videos about it. For example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzkBN863DnI

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Albert, if you knew the amount of projects I’ve f’d up by trying to watch YouTube vids on them you’d think even less of me. If that’s even possible 🤣

Brigitte Kratz's avatar

You’re speaking truth in every single sentence and question of this essay. Just the other day, I was wondering in silence: "Can someone please explain what the fuck a sump pump is?” But I thanked the heavens that I could call Michael about the weird noise it was making, and that he even picked up the phone.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Ha, glad I’m not alone in my sump pump fuckery 🤣!!! They are seriously mysterious. We have neighbors who snow bird and this past winter they asked me to check theirs from time to time. I did it, but didn’t have the heart to tell them I had no clue what I was doing.

Brigitte Kratz's avatar

Haha 😂