Empty Calories & Male Curiosity, #38 🥃

Mobility Scooters and the Fine Line Between Empathy and Delusion

Mobility Scooters and the Fine Line Between Empathy and Delusion

I’ve been known to have a bit of a temper. Back in my coaching days, our postseason staff parties were funded largely through my contributions to the communal swear jar.

The president of our university would occasionally run around the track during our practices, and in those instances, a designated staff member was always assigned to alert me to his presence.

Lest I drop a “JESUS!! FU*KING RUN IT AGAIN!!!!” within earshot of the prez, who happened also to be a Lutheran Pastor.

But I’m getting better with the cussing. Just don’t ask my daughter.

Seriously though, little things don’t tend to bother me as much as they used to. Which is why it is so surprising to me that mobility scooters irritate me. 

As I mentioned earlier this year, we visited Disney World in the spring for my daughter’s cheer competition. When we first started going to Disney a few years ago, I was shocked by how many people I saw driving around in these scooters. I had seen them elsewhere, but the sheer volume of them at Disney was astounding.

I don’t remember these at all growing up in the 80s & 90s. 

Do you remember them? 

They must’ve been around, right? 

I graduated from college in 1998 and dove headfirst into my career. Being a college football coach was all-consuming. Whatever free space my brain had was quickly filled with my relationship with my wife, and then the birth of our daughter.

Essentially, my head was in the sand outside of family and football. So, maybe the explosion in number of these carts was more gradual than it seemed to me.

However it happened, one of two things must have transpired during that time. 

Either:

A) America had gotten infinitely sicker, older, and fatter.

or,

B) Disney had become more inclusive to sick, old, and fat people.

My initial inclination was that the answer was B. Which I thought was pretty cool.

One of our last family trips growing up was to Disney World. My parents saved up all year for us to go, and we drove to Orlando in their station wagon, stopping here and there along the way. 

Picture the Griswolds, without the dead Aunt.

Anyway, at the time of this trip, my oldest sister was recovering from a major surgery on her ankle. She had been in a cast from her foot all the way up to her hip for several months and was still periodically using a wheelchair. 

Couple this with us visiting the scorched Earth that is Orlando in the middle of August, and the entire trip was a challenge. I have vivid memories of visiting the two parks that were there at the time (EPCOT had opened somewhat recently, and it suuuucked), but exactly zero memories of anyone helping us.

We pushed my sister around in her wheelchair. Waited in lines. Sweated our asses off like everyone else. 

So it would’ve been awesome to have had one of those scooters for her at the time. And I say this not just because of the ability to circumnavigate the exorbitantly long lines at the rides (which is a whole other story).

If you know me or read my stuff at all, you know I enjoy poking fun at Millennials and Gen Z. It’s kinda like shooting fish in a barrel. However, having spent many years coaching them and now the past few parenting one, I can say at least one positive thing about them: They have infinitely more empathy for others than previous generations. 

Like anything positive, however, if taken too far this can become a negative. Everyone knows a child will thrive more with parents who love them as opposed to those who would abuse them. But we all know those parents who love their children TOO much. 

They love them so much that they remove all impediments. They make their child’s lives too easy. 

I feel like these mobility scooters are emblematic of this. When I first see one, my initial thoughts are positive. I think about how nice it is that someone struggling has the ability to get around just like everyone else and can participate in all the fun that others are having.

But as I see them over and over again, and the people riding in them, my feelings change. Overwhelmingly, the people riding in them are not elderly, they are not in casts, and they do not have any outward sign of disability. 

The vast majority of them are morbidly obese. 

Let me be frank: I have a hard time feeling empathy for these folks. Some reading this will agree with me, and some will think I’m an a-hole. 

For what it’s worth, I don’t really care. In all of those years coaching football, I became numb to certain people thinking I was an a-hole. It’s the price you pay sometimes for telling someone something they don’t want to hear. 

Besides, in the majority of instances, someone else’s opinion of you speaks more about who they are than who you are. 

Obesity is a choice. 

As is addiction. And infidelity. And any number of other negative human behaviors.

Our society’s propensity to label these things as ‘diseases’ is not only destructive, it is dishonest. Yes, someone may be more genetically predisposed to have more of an addictive personality than others. 

But don’t tell me being a drug addict is the same thing as having cancer.

I choose every day not to overeat. 

To not do drugs.

To not cheat on my wife (and no sweetie, I’m not considering it either ❤️). 

Is there something in my DNA that makes it easier for me to do that than others? Probably. 

Does my upbringing and whatever privileges that came with it contribute as well? No question.

But it is still a choice. If it were not a choice, then obese people would never lose weight via diet and exercise. And addicts would not get clean. Ever. 

The vast majority of people who overcome these types of struggles credit themselves for finally making the change.

Certainly, things like twelve-step programs, family intervention, professional support, and pharmaceuticals play a role in helping some, if not all, of these individuals.

But for the most part, they simply get ‘tired of being tired.’ They ‘hit rock bottom.’ Use whatever colloquialism you choose. So, if they can do it - anyone can do it. 

It just might be harder.

Such is life. 

We recently had this discussion with our teenage daughter about school. Some kids are more intelligent than others. Does that mean she can’t get as good of grades as kids who are smarter than her?

Nope.

But to do so, she’ll need to work harder than they do.

Again, such is life.

I’ve written in the past about the lies that our government tells us. 

Lies that bring our nation to war. Lies that take advantage of the downtrodden and less fortunate. But these lies of empathy that we’re telling ourselves, our friends, and our families can be just as harmful in the long run. 

So maybe we need a little less empathy. 

And a few more assholes.

Most mornings I’ll sit in this chair for a bit while my wife gets ready. Maverick always comes to sit with me at least for a little while.

PS - In some of the social media previews of this post, there is a picture of Kramer and George shopping for something. Shout-out to the first person who can name the item the sales guy tries to sell them.