Empty Calories & Male Curiosity, #27 🥃

Local Husband Accused of Yelling, Assaulted With Dictionary

QUICK HITTERS:

1. This week’s SilentPunt Podcast dropped a little later than usual because of production issues. I know, I know: production issues imply that we have production value, which we do not. Either way, you can check it out HERE.

2. I’m about halfway through Funny Because It’s True: How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire, by Christine Wenc. I was interested in this book for several reasons. First, in the last year or so, it came to my attention that The Onion was developed right here in Wisconsin on the campus of UW-Madison back in the late 80s. Second, I seem to consume a large chunk of my news from satirical sources. And lastly, because one of the main characters in the book is a guy I know. I’m enjoying it very much so far and looking forward to learning how they have continued to survive as the media landscape has changed to digital.

Hard to keep Maverick away, he is an attention hound. Darla doesn't seem to mind.

3. Women and duvet covers, will it ever stop?

GOING DEEP:

Local Husband Accused of Yelling, Assaulted With Dictionary

West Allis, WI - Karl Weber never imagined his Memorial Day weekend would land him in the hospital. Over the span of three days, he and his family rode bikes, grilled meats, and floated on their pontoon boat. 

On Monday night's drive home from Lake Winnetonkanago, Karl and his wife Bonnie were discussing the family’s schedule for the upcoming week. Somewhere between Minocqua and Sheboygan, a disagreement arose about who would be taking their youngest child to curling practice. Eventually, it was decided that Karl would handle shuttling their youngest to curling, while Bonnie would take the oldest to soccer.

After arriving home and getting the kids to bed, they decided to have one last Old Fashioned out on their deck before heading to bed and closing out the weekend. It was at this time that Bonnie let Karl know how upset she was with him for yelling at her previously in the car.

A disagreement ensued over what constitutes yelling.

Karl asserted that yelling was about volume. Bonnie countered that it was about tone. After leaving briefly and returning to the deck with the family’s large Webster’s Dictionary (used primarily to adjudicate Scrabble squabbles), Karl read the definition of yelling to Bonnie:

“Yelling: A form of yell. 1) To utter a loud cry, scream, or shout. 2) To give a cheer, usually in unison.”

The disagreement escalated from there. Karl and Bonnie tell different versions, but with the same result: Bonnie grabbing the dictionary from Karl and repeatedly bashing him in the face with it. 

The assault landed Karl in the ER of Sheboygan Mercy Hospital. Bleeding and dazed, he had driven himself there. Police were called to the hospital on a report of domestic violence. After describing the incident to officers, no charges were filed.

It was clear that Karl had provoked the attack.

The couple plan to renew their vows later this summer.

If you like my writing, or just my dogs, give this post a ❤️.

Have a mom or a dad who might enjoy this? Or a son or a daughter?

Or an in-law that bothers you? Drop their email in here: