Empty Calories & Male Curiosity, #15
Eulogy For A Golf Course: Part II, Resurrection
QUICK HITTERS:
Reminder that SilentPunt stickers are available for referrals. Apparently they are in high demand as the ones I mailed Travis were stolen along the way….
Shout-out to my niece and Goddaughter Molly Allen for all of her help with logo stuff. She graduates in the spring of '27 from St. Joseph’s University in Philly with a degree in Food Marketing. Find her on LinkedIn here if you’re in need of a kick-a** intern this summer.
Going with the theme of golf this week our book recommendation is The Mysterious Montague: A True Tale of Hollywood, Golf, and Armed Robbery by Leigh Montville. If you were a Sports Illustrated reader back in the day you will recognize the author for his amazing sports writing. I actually can’t believe this book has not been made into a movie yet as it is such a crazy story. You don’t need to be a golf fan to become engrossed in Montville’s tale of the greatest golfer you’ve never heard of.
Maverick is getting better at this.
The SilentPunt podcast made its debut this week on Spotify and Apple Podcasts (here). We are expecting a Kelce-like contract any day now. Tell us what to talk about next week….
In this week’s OVERTIME Travis & I discuss when the best time is for a man to shave his head. Honestly, why we haven’t received our invite from Jimmy Kimmel yet is beyond me.
GOING DEEP:
Eulogy For A Golf Course: Part II, Resurrection
“The property sits on what was an 1800’s sawmill that utilized the Fox River at its center. Oddly enough, the first documented murder in Waukesha County occurred on this property in 1845 when an argument between business partners turned bad.” 1
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RIP Lucy. The picture above is of my family taking a walk at Wanaki Golf Course (Wah-knock-ee) during the COVID lockdown. It was surreal to walk the course on beautiful days with nary a golfer in sight. Later that summer, when the course was allowed to open back up, I began to play there.
A lot.
My job was closed for the time being and golf was one of the few things to do. I eventually fell in love with the game.
Fall golf in Wisconsin is out of this world. The word Wanaki is Native American meaning ‘people of the dawn’ or ‘peaceful’ depending on tribal interpretation. About four or five years ago, around the same time as the beginning of the end for Silver Spring Golf Course (part 1 of this story, here), Wanaki had its very own come to Jesus moment.2
Opened in 1970 by county officials as a government entity, the course had ceased being profitable by the time I began to play there.
Not shocking. A golf course is a business. And government is terrible at business. I am not saying government is bad at everything. Schools, infrastructure, police & fire departments, those are in the government’s wheelhouse.3
On a sunny day in August of 2019 every resident in the area surrounding the course got a letter. The government would be closing the course permanently at the end of the season and selling off the land. The idea being three-fold:
Get this money pit off the books.
Obtain a quick influx of cash by selling the land to a housing developer.
Grow the tax base in the county forever once the homes were built.
There was a slight problem with this plan: the community was pissed. I will spare you the gory details and fast forward the story. A few years later the course was sold to a local family that was in the golf course business.
An example of how abrupt this decision was is below. This is one of six bridges the county spent roughly a million dollars on in the years leading up to the course's closure.
Maverick & Darla giving the bridge an inspection during a recent walk of the course. The course has blossomed under new management. They invested heavily in updating the clubhouse which previously looked more like a picnic area than an actual restaurant.
They give away a sweet recliner during every Packer game. The only catch is you have to sit and watch the stupid Packers play. As I mentioned in my previous golf piece our area has seen the destruction of thousands of trees in recent years due to invasive species. Wanaki is no different. However, what is different about the course is their commitment to replacing those lost trees. They have something called the Legacy Forest. This program “allows individuals or groups to purchase a tree, or trees, to memorialize or honor individuals who have passed on, or are worthy to receive a dedicated tree….”
My grandfather, John Murphy, was an avid golfer. Interestingly enough, his home course in Broomall, PA was turned into a housing development a few years ago.
Sunday November 22, 2020:Wanaki Golf Course was scheduled to close as a public entity on Tuesday November 22, 2020. They would reopen in the spring of ‘21 under new management.
So that Sunday night I figured I’d get one last 9-hole round in. Unbeknownst to me the closure date had been moved up two days. As I walked past the clubhouse to head to my car after the round I was met by several employees of the course.
They informed me about the course’s closure that evening, and that I was the last player to play.
Ever.
The inscription on the flag below that they gave me says that I was the 2,441,077th golfer to play the course as it had been constituted for the past 50 years.
Many thanks to all around good egg Jim Ehnert for his help with facts, figures, and pictures for this piece.
OK, maybe Mav needs a little more work.
golfwanaki.com
If corporations can be people then a golf course can too goddamnit.
I realize this is rife for discussion right now.
That's quite an honor - so, you got that going for you. . .which is nice! I shaved my head about 25 years ago, due to the impact of chemo, so I don't think that really counts. I don't shave my head now, but, I can feel hair on the back of my head with my hand, but seeing the back of my head in a mirror, it appears to be largely bald - quite a dilemma. . .
Cool story. The Last Golfer. Sounds like a dark comedy.