57 Comments
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Moorea Maguire's avatar

My senior year in high school, I remember driving to a Thrifty (the old west coast equivalent of CVS) after school and buying myself a scoop of chocolate chip ice cream for 35 cents. It was the best.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

That’s awesome. When I was first dating my wife her tiny little town had an old school one of these on the town square. It was called Dek’s and was so cool. Sadly it’s gone today.

Paul Horton's avatar

Sadly it is a solid observation about modern retail. Give me the small and intimate bakery or bookstore. It seems that it’s all that’s left.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I’d say someone should write the opposite of this piece about that bakery or bookstore, but something tells me many have probably already been written.

Mike Bryskier's avatar

At my CVS, half the store is locked up now, including things I can’t imagine anyone stealing.

If you’re going to risk a criminal record, aim a little higher than Head & Shoulders.

Ted Patchell's avatar

Know what's sad? Baby formula is ALWAYS under lock and key. Not just at CVS.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Well that’s weird. Because people steal it I guess?

Ted Patchell's avatar

Yup. It's resellable. And costly.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Head and Shoulders, now there’s a blast from the past. Do they really still make that? I remember the commercials back in the day.

Joshua Ramos Levine's avatar

Last I was in North Dakota, all the pharmacies were independently owned (state law). No chains.

Also I feel like if they put a discount on the KY, they could also do -50% on the other items. Or maybe “half off condoms” sounds too wrong.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Hahaha, half off condoms…there is some sort of functionality joke in there.

Well, now we at least know North Dakota does two things right: football and pharmacies.

Fun fact: The best qb I ever coached broke all of the current NDSU head coach’s records in college. (He was a D3 qb)

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

And wasn’t Lana Turner discovered at Schwab’s drug store?

Great essay.

We have a fab compound pharmacy. All healthy products. While Jeffreys spa is Home Depot I love Johnsons compound pharmacy. They would be wise to offer a protein smoothie.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Carissa I’m a little embarrassed to say I had to google Lana Turner 😬.

That’s so cool you still have a normal pharmacy. I thought they were ALL gone!

And don’t get me started on Home Depot!!! Ask Jeffrey what he thinks of the service there now as compared to say 15 years ago.

Rosa Maria's avatar

Lana Turner! One of the Hollywood blondes, specifically MGM! The "good old times" where the study owned you.

Known for her pin-up pictures. For her films with Clark Gable. The most famous, "The Postman Always Rings Twice".

And for her boyfriend Stompanato.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Johnny_Stompanato

Yes, I'm old.

Send my regards to Maverick! I looked up the book.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Holy shit what a story!

RV's avatar

When I was a teen, my hair would fall across my eye in what I imagined was an alluring way. My dad would say, "Hey, Lana, get your hair out of your face." He was such a realist with his straight pin comments puncturing my thought balloons.

Rosa Maria's avatar

Tough love ...

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

What a story!

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Oh, I know. I’ve been with him to Home Depot. Even the employees have to look at the app with directions.

Rick Lewis's avatar

How in the world did "the complete life cycle of regrettable sex" not make the cut as the title of this essay?

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Dammit! That’s it, you’ve just personally appointed yourself COO of SilentPunt Enterprises. The hours suck but we make up for it with shitty pay.

Rick Lewis's avatar

I'm in, though I'm quite sure that COO stands for something unique in your organization. Please expand the acronym.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Oh shit that is crazy AND hilarious. I even hearted it back then. You must’ve planted the seed my friend!!

Also, fuck CVS 👊🏼

Seth JJ's avatar

100%

Kara Wood's avatar

We traditionalists will not stand for this over optimization!! While we are on the subject, bring back the normal bowling allies! Great piece, Henny.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Thanks Kara!

If you are ever in Sussex, Wisconsin we have an AMAZING old school bowling alley. Great bar food, free popcorn, and bartenders who remember your name. Maybe I should write about that!!!

Kara Wood's avatar

Fantastic. And yes, you should! I once wrote about wishing one of those back into existence. 😁

Tamara Casey's avatar

Sad but true. Well done Coach.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Appreciate you Tamara 👊🏼

Stephanie Clemons's avatar

I was just thinking about Molly Ringwald the other day and how much I wanted to be her in every single one of her films while I was daydreaming on my commute to work and here you are mentioning her in a post! Go figure 😊

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

She must’ve been in the ether Stephanie 😉

Dash's avatar

My mother's uncle was a pharmacist back in the day they used to serve it all! Sodas, floats, ice cream. I wish I could've experienced life back then.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Definitely. I was able to once - when I first started dating my wife her tiny little small town still had one.

Maria T.C.'s avatar

I used to work as a pharmacy tech at a grocery store, but it was an “open concept” layout where we had no place to hide from people, unlike the tiny window at places like cvs and Walgreens!

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Ha. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide!

Chris Stanton's avatar

I never knew that’s why pharmacies started selling soda and having soda jerks (one of the best names for a job ever). So interesting. CVS is a cruel hellscape every time. I actually went to an independent pharmacy to get a prescription filled this afternoon just for kicks and it was amazing. No jerk employees in either sense of the word.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Wow. I don’t think I have that option. Although someone else in the comments (also on the east coast) said they had one as well.

Diane Roth's avatar

Great piece, Henny! You nailed this! And yeah, the only thing worse than heading into a CVS for a prescription is going to Walgreens!

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Thanks Diane! I agree - equally shitty!!!

Read December's avatar

Just imagine when a chocolate milkshake in a tall fancy glass could be handed to you at a polished service counter and considered medicine, right along with Coca-Cola as a sort of sweet cough syrup for what ails you. Talk about the Wonka days.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Thems were the days

Justin Barber's avatar

I had NO idea that pharmacies were once like this! Surprised and sad. As someone who works in utilization management with health insurance, that over-optimized, sterile feel is one of the most heart wrenching parts of pharmacies and modern hospital systems in general. It's an oddly dystopian feeling, navigating through the endless automated voice on a phone while trying to compile computer-generated stats to argue for a sick kid's treatment getting paid for.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Ooof, yeah that sounds rough. My wife’s tiny little town had one of those old time pharmacies when we first started dating. Super cool.