Reel-To-Reel Films: Nostalgic Slice of Americana, or Terror Device of the Damned?

Plus: Shelter dogs

Some of you reading this will remember reel-to-reel film strips. For those who don’t, when a movie was over and the reel ran out, there would be the sound of the film clack-clack-clacking as it disengaged from the first wheel.

(🎥 Fast forward to 28 seconds to hear the clacking.)

Whether you were in the garage being permanently traumatized watching a 13-year-old boy murder a yellow lab¹, or in Mrs. Hampton’s 3rd-grade classroom learning about the solar system while making hilarious Uranus jokes, that clacking sound signaled the same unfortunate fact….

….it was time to go back to the real world.

Yes, the same studio that brought us Star Wars also brought us Old Yeller. Also, note that there is no gun in this photo. More on that later.

Back in those days, when the TV day ended, the last thing to play was the national anthem, and then nothing. Just snow. But Hollywood, with their best Old Yeller intentions, had to ruin that as well.

Who else spent years being scared anytime you were in the same room as a TV that looked like this?

As technology advanced, we entered the world of VCRs. The first movie I remember watching with my family on our VCR was about an East German family who built a balloon to fly to West Germany. You know what scene I remember most? The one where someone gets mowed down by a flurry of machine gun fire as they try to make a run for the Berlin Wall.

Yup, Disney again.

But I was ten at this point. Being ten in 1985 was like being thirty-seven these days. By then you’ve seen a lot of shit.

A year later I was 11. So, when A Nightmare on Elm Street came out on VHS, it was perfectly natural to show me a film about a disfigured demon who terrorized and brutally murdered a bunch of teenagers.

These days, I long for the clack-clack-clack. Because nothing ends. You can scroll on your phone, stream shows in your kitchen, or video call someone on Facebook twenty-four hours a day. I surprisingly learned that last bit earlier this week when an old friend somehow called me via the Facebook app.

Chalk that up as another strike against the giant assholes in Silicon Valley. What, having a phone in my phone isn’t enough? Now I have to have a phone inside an app, inside a phone?

I think that’s one of the reasons everyone thinks the world is such a horrific place these days. The in-your-face reality of death and dismemberment of the 70s and 80s has been replaced by perpetual connectivity.

Of course you think it’s horrific that the barista messed up your latte art so now you can’t post it to Instagram…

……because your ass never had to spend a sleepless night wondering if a man from the boiler room was going to sneak into your dreams and gut you like a fish.

Millennials and Gen Z’ers are always complaining about how confusing the world is these days. But the world has always been confusing.

To wit:

When I was 5: It was perfectly normal to show me a movie where, in the final scene, a teenage boy shoots and kills his best friend, who happens also to be his dog.

Now that I’m 50: I get in an argument with the robot who is helping me make a picture. The argument revolves around whether or not he’ll include a gun because his overlords won’t let him produce a picture of a minor handling a firearm.

To this day I don’t like scary movies. Aside from basically being a wuss, I think it is inviting bad karma to take pleasure in watching someone else suffer.

Unless you're a Cowboys fan. I could watch them suffer every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

This is as close as ChatGPT would let me get to Reservoir Dogs. Goddamn AI.

People, people…you know I’m working on a book, right? Well, in order to get anyone to work with me on that project, I need your help. Publishers these days don’t get into bed (that’s not kosher to say anymore, is it?) with anyone who doesn’t have a built-in “following.” So, please click that link above and share this with someone else you think might like it.

I realize not all of you follow along during the week, so I figured I’d repost some of the shelter dogs I spent time with this past Monday:

Samantha, Milo, & Doug

This is Starburst. He came in with a broken leg that had to be amputated….

And last but not least are these two beagle beauties who were adopted after my visit….

1. Old Yeller was a Disney film released in 1957. In the climax of the film a young boy has to shoot and kill his dog (who had gone rabid).