117 Comments
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Angie Maher's avatar

My friend, I am so glad you are familiar with the Holiday Inn Express…you may want to consider buying stock or befriending the manager there. I foresee your need to stay there more than you might have imagined. If not because of your wife, because of any other woman who has your home address. 🤣🤭😊😆

Brandi Wiatrak's avatar

Ok, yeah. That was funny. I’ll give you that. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I mean you do have to have a sense of humor to handle us during our finest moments. But really we’re just giving you a dose of your own medicine because testosterone starts running the show once estrogen bails on us during perimenopause. So you could say we’re just returning the favor to your kind. 🤣

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

That’s really funny Brandi, I never thought of it that way.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Maybe I should go off the grid! 🤣🤣

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I can record it from a SCIF in the South Pacific!

Angie Maher's avatar

That seems pretty extreme…but I guess if you are going to disappear, you might as well go to the other side of the world and the southern hemisphere.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I’d actually love to live on one of those islands for a little while someday. Maybe a month or two…and just be like, gone.

Angie Maher's avatar

I’d love to be anywhere but here right now. But $…🤦‍♀️

Sam Mertens (he/him)'s avatar

May this venture earn you enough to afford the security protection you’re going to need.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Hahaha. You’ve made me smile again Mr. Mertens!!

Elizabeth Stone's avatar

“The female body is not confusing. It is simply under-coached.”

Thank GOD someone finally sees us!!

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I’m here for you guys Elizabeth 👊🏼

Elizabeth Stone's avatar

🙌🏻 I was so confused about this ongoing discomfort but now I have the awareness tier to thank for enlightenment! Gratitude 🙏🏻

Justin Barber's avatar

Full-on belly laughs at least four times, enough for my wife to ask me what I was looking at. She’s still got a ways to go, but I can’t wait to pitch these supplements to her! 😂

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Hahaha…just be ready to possibly be sleeping on the couch 🤣

Emma Tomkins's avatar

Or the gentleman could try Holiday Inn

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Touché Emma, touché.

Moorea Maguire's avatar

😆😂

The reason this is so funny is that mansplaining is all too common, even on Substack. Hooray for men who get it!

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

It was my sincere hope that you ladies would “get it”…and not come at me wielding pitchforks 😊

Liz LaPoint's avatar

You hold a black belt in sarcasm and I adore it

Sara's avatar

Hahahahahahah you have really taken your life in your hand here, Henny! Need to stock up on my Lady Salts.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

We sell them by the gross

Kenzie🦋Reloaded's avatar

Hilarious. And I will add that in decades past women often had to see a man -- for gynecology. Traditionally, men dominated medicine -- no big secret or reveal. But in this day and age, I do not understand why a woman would go to a male physician for their lady parts healthcare? Or for pregnancy and related endocrinology healthcare. Or listen to any of their advice. I am transgender and I'm not part of this conversation, even though some of my treatment codes say that I'm a post menopausal woman. But having a male doctor for my hormones would give me the ick. Is that fair? I don't know, I guess not.

But most men like this will sell ice to the Eskimos if they can get away with it.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

For sure on that last part.

And I guess it’s just personal preference I suppose. Any ladies in my life I think all prefer a female gyno over a male, which I get. And I prefer a male pcp over female, but aside from that don’t really care. There was a female assistant in on my vasectomy which was a little weird. TMI?? 🤣🤣

Kenzie🦋Reloaded's avatar

Nope. Thanks for the feedback. For you, having a PCP be a man makes perfect sense to me. And no, I'm not a man hater. But you know, sometimes there is so much against us, that we have to start with a basic trust and comfort with our own healthcare providers. And whether they are male or female (or um, presenting as either) is a good start. As I said, maybe it's not fair, but my default is women. As doctors, therapists, and just about everyone else. And that's another article and another can of worms.

(But if I pull up to Jiffy Lube for an oil change, and a man is behind the desk, that's going to be perfectly fine for me. And if I hire a lawyer and they are working on my behalf in the courtroom, I want that person to be a man. Because he'll probably be more convincing and more effective than a woman -- regarding outcomes. Not capability. And that is a comment on the system and not women as lawyers.).

( geez, how did I get into all this?)

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Haha, right? All interesting thoughts though.

Logan Ashe's avatar

I would laugh out loud, but you know - that bladder leakage problem we older gals get.

Does your protocol address that?

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Tier 4 here we come!!! 🤣🤣

Anna Biggs's avatar

And remember ladies, that 'essential strength training' will banish all remaining pesky cartilage and leave your osteoarthritis thriving!

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

You sound like you’ve already participated in Tier 3!!!!

Anna Biggs's avatar

🤣 Nah. Just did a copywriting course before I came to my senses.

Leonora Ross's avatar

Well, I almost don't know what to say. But then again, I'm a woman, so there's always something slipping out of my mouth, especially when the subject of women and their hormones arise...

I'm not perimenopausal, just menopausal. I do think it's worth noting, my friend, that once a woman tilts in the direction of the Pause, there's no turning back - she goes full-throttle. And once she's tasted the power of the rage, you better start sleeping lightly. For your own safety.

😁

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Currently keeping one eye open till I know my wife has read this. And laughed. 😀

Leonora Ross's avatar

😉

C.L. Steiner's avatar

Hysterical!

I think the thing that really broke me up was the Gary Vaynerchuk meme.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Hahaha, I’m so glad to hear that. I saw it and was like, oh man that’s perfect. Just didn’t know how many folks would get it.

Larry Urish's avatar

Uh ... the question is not IF, but HOW MANY death threats have you received thus far?

Still, I'm intrigued. Sign me up!!

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Hahaha. So far the coast is clear. But I’m keeping a low profile just in case!

Larry Urish's avatar

Just don't go out in public until, say, 2035.

(Seriously, anyone with ONE neuron in his/her head knows you were being satirical ... I hope.)

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I hope so too, cause I was laying it on pretty thick 😉

Melanie's avatar

I’ve been triggered 🤣

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Mission accomplished 🫡🤣

Janice's avatar

Seriously though it’s causing huge numbers of divorce and it’s so pathetic.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Well that sucks

Rosa Maria's avatar

The dog wants YOU to read loudly the book before bedtime.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

She loves her snuggles! Reading, not so much I don’t think 🤣

Rick Lewis's avatar

Please put on the list for your next program offer for post-peri-menopause women. Whatever the offer is, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it to my wife having experienced the impressively sensitive and perfectly tailored program for women you've already created here. I will sign her up as a Christmas present.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Hahaha. I’m sure I’ll write about that in a few years!